My Weekend With Bill
At six o'clock you came into the room
With a great big smile and a little perfume
I knew you wouldn't be one minute late
For our first authentic genuine date.
We got in your car, which you rendered fuseless
After learning pointy metal things are totally useless.
Debbie and Dannie I wanted to meet
And Julie too, who played in the street.
They were really nice people although what a plight
They had just lost the battle with the deadly termite.
But you graciously told Dannie what he needed to do
And then we left to go eat some delicious barbecue.               
We put brisket, sausage and toast in our bellies
Oh and we even had some apricot jellies.
We paid our bill, since we are not country bumpkins
And went to United to buy us some pumpkins.
We came back home and had some wine
You took me to bed and drove me out of my mind.
We fell asleep in each other's arms,
Keeping each other safe from all of life's harms.
The next time I saw you, you were just being Bill
Working already, preparing our meal
Bacon and eggs and toast and juice
All cooked by a man I just can't turn loose.
And for our picnic you even made Ruebens
A meal fit for kings and unknown by Cubans.
And then it was time to get on our way
To our grand adventure and a beautiful day.
We pulled over a minute to pick up a wire
That would save our lives during famine or fire.
We stayed for awhile watching ants carrying loads
And then left with the knowledge that ants don't cross roads.
We got to the Canyon, and stopped at the booth
Gave our six dollars to a woman named Ruth
Decided that if we got a job there
We would need a fat woman who sits in a chair.
Ruth gave us a map, wished us a nice day
We wished her the same and went on our way.
Drove for awhile while you ate some candy
Already Ruth's map was coming in quite handy.
We had a hard time finding a place
That was on a map where Ruth's friend wiped her face.
But Hully Gully or not, we found a nice trail
Just being together, we just couldn't fail.
So we began our walk
Of looking, and laughing and nonstop talk.
I never felt so much peace of mind
Just knowing that you were just two steps behind.
We walked and walked for miles it seems
You and me and the man of my dreams.
You didn't know there were three people there
He was deep inside you, the same heart you two share.        
So we just took our time, we surely weren't rushed
But you wanted a drink where we could be crushed.
You wanted to sit right under a ledge
But I saved your life, and made you move to the edge.
Oh how we talked about so many things
Of life and death and 'copters and kings.
Of Women being from the planet of Venus
And since you're from Mars, you mentioned your penis.
We packed up our stuff and said our goodbyes
To the cathedral of monkeys and the two million flies.
We started back from that location
To see if we could cause a horse situation.
I got into your car with you close at hand
Carrying my days treasures of contraband.
We stopped as soon as we were able
To find some grass, some shade and a picnic table.
The lunch was fantastic as you usually do
But my favorite part was leaning on you.
And watching birds and children playing on swings
And seeing the water, oh, so many things.
So once again we started to ride
And I heard about Shirley saving your hide.
I was sorry to hear about the time she was sad
After reading our poems about the good time we had.
We were driving along and you told me the fable
About the mining disaster and the discarded cable.
We saw a deer, grazing on land
You snipped off some wires and wounded your hand.
But pretty soon the bleeding stopped
So back into the car we hopped.
I found out a cigarette paper can be quite handy
Wrapped up the wires and then ate some candy.
Drove around for no more than a minute
Found Goodnight's dugout, but he wasn't in it.
Started back home, and I think we both felt
Just one more adventure under our belt.
Before we came home we had two more deeds
To pick up the player and then pull some weeds.
We came back to my house to get out of our clothes
Had our leftover  dinner from Desperado's.
We had some wine then thought it would be groovy
To take a shower and then watch a movie.
I got confused and asked you the story
You weren't really sure except it was probably too gory.
And then it was time to call it a night
I went right to sleep because all seemed just right.
I wasn't really tired but incredibly sleepy
Didn't get up once, not even to peepee.
When I woke up this morning you were not there
You were in the kitchen, to the coffee prepare.
You were so happy, and cheerful and doing quite well
You had found the source of that terrible smell.
And so the weekend had come to an end
So I said goodbye to my lover and friend
It was time for you to depart
With your suitcase, your clothes, your lunch and my heart

Sheilah.